Thinking the Absurd - aloud!
(Not a real report)

Subject: Is This the Next Step?
When you consider that Jews have forced octogenarians to be taken
from hospital with their life-support systems, to answer phoney
war crimes charges, could the next step be as imagined below?
By George White
Associated Press Writer Chicago, Illinois (API) - Federal Chicago,
New York- and Washington-based judges on Wednesday have
given final approval to motions submitted by lawyers from the
B'nai B'rith Anti-Defamation League, the Holocaust Memorial
Museum, the Simon Wiesenthal Center, Elie Wiesel, lawyers
representing several US government law enforcement agencies,
Deborah Lipstadt, and others----
---to begin disinterring bodies from various American cemeteries
in order to place them on trial for war crimes committed during
World War 2.
Similar agreements and approvals are being reached in various
European nations.
Opponents to the motions cited the huge expenses involved
which taxpayers would have to pick up from the disinterments,
the hiring of medical professionals to maintain the cadavers in
the courtrooms during trials which often last months
or years, the costs of long incarceration or execution of the
deceased accused, burial site expenses, and other sundries.
Numerous accusations of 'anti-Semitism' were made against
opponents, and a number of them quickly withdrew their
objections.
Some of the accused who had been cremated will appear in
courtrooms in urns containing their ashes, the urns to be carried
from the defendant tables to the witness stand by heavily armed
guards who are being assigned to protect the public from the
dangerous accused. Double- and triple-guard assignments will
be employed to move actual cadavers around the courtrooms.
"It is important that the world see that justice has been served
here," said Eli Wiesel, a prominent human rights activist and
Holocaust expert. "Age and life status are irrelevant. The main
thing is that these evil, murderous persons not be allowed to rest
in peace for their crimes". Marc Weiss of the Anti-Defamation
League, a human rights organization based in Los Angeles, is
reported to have said: "The costs objection is 100% irrelevant.
Citizens objecting to the millions spent on these necessary cases
are obviously anti- Semitic haters. We will be initiating
investigations of these persons as well. This kind of Jew-hatred
cannot be tolerated in our free society!"
Deborah Lipstadt was particularly outspoken on the issue, and
confident of guilty verdicts. "We are advising congress and the
courts to craft legislation banning the interment of the accused.
When they are found guilty, these criminals will then be executed
and then their bodies placed in cells in various maximum security
prisons under heavy guard. Interment is NOT an option as these
cases are special. We owe it to humanity to imprison them forever."
A special 'Holocaust tax' bill is currently wending its way through
the US Congress, but is expected to be easily passed. Thousands
of accused are believed to be awaiting disinterment, and preliminary
estimated costs of cadaver trials run as high as $60.7 million dollars.
Actual imprisonment of the executed cadavers are expected to cost
taxpayers a further $378 million dollars per year. Jewish citizens,
racial minorities, women, and homosexuals will be exempted from
paying these taxes.
Statements of approval of these long-overdue judicial and
congressional measures have come in from state and federal
officials. A symbolic motion of approval is expected from the
US Senate later this week, as well as a statement of approval
from the President. The Congress is also expected to set up
oversight committees to ensure that the disinterments and
trials proceed smoothly. Additional federal subsidized funding
is likely to be authorized.
The disinterments will begin Monday.

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