Thinking the Absurd - aloud! 

(Not a real report)

 

Subject: Is This the Next Step?

 When you consider that Jews have forced octogenarians to be taken
 from hospital with their life-support systems, to answer phoney
 war crimes charges, could the next step be as imagined below?

 By George White

 Associated Press Writer Chicago, Illinois (API) - Federal Chicago,
 New York- and Washington-based judges on Wednesday have
 given final approval to motions submitted by lawyers from the
 B'nai B'rith Anti-Defamation League, the Holocaust Memorial
 Museum, the Simon Wiesenthal Center, Elie Wiesel, lawyers
 representing several US government law enforcement agencies,
 Deborah Lipstadt, and others----

---to begin disinterring bodies from various American cemeteries
 in order to place them on trial for war crimes committed during
 World War 2.
 Similar agreements and approvals are being reached in various
 European nations.

 Opponents to the motions cited the huge expenses involved
 which taxpayers would have to pick up from the disinterments,
 the hiring of medical professionals to maintain the cadavers in
 the courtrooms during trials which often last months
 or years, the costs of long incarceration or execution of the
 deceased accused, burial site expenses, and other sundries.
 Numerous accusations of 'anti-Semitism' were made against
 opponents, and a number of them quickly withdrew their
 objections.

 Some of the accused who had been cremated will appear in
 courtrooms in urns containing their ashes, the urns to be carried
 from the defendant tables to the witness stand by heavily armed
 guards who are being assigned to protect the public from the
 dangerous accused. Double- and triple-guard assignments will
 be employed to move actual cadavers around the courtrooms.

  "It is important that the world see that justice has been served
 here," said Eli Wiesel, a prominent human rights activist and
 Holocaust expert. "Age and life status are irrelevant. The main
 thing is that these evil, murderous persons not be allowed to rest
 in peace for their crimes". Marc Weiss of the Anti-Defamation
 League, a human rights organization based in Los Angeles, is
 reported to have said: "The costs objection is 100% irrelevant.
 Citizens objecting to the millions spent on these necessary cases
 are obviously anti- Semitic haters. We will be initiating
 investigations of these persons as well. This kind of Jew-hatred
 cannot be tolerated in our free society!"

  Deborah Lipstadt was particularly outspoken on the issue, and
 confident of guilty verdicts. "We are advising congress and the
 courts to craft legislation banning the interment of the accused.
 When they are found guilty, these criminals will then be executed
 and then their bodies placed in cells in various maximum security
 prisons under heavy guard. Interment is NOT an option as these
 cases are special. We owe it to humanity to imprison them forever."

  A special 'Holocaust tax' bill is currently wending its way through
 the US Congress, but is expected to be easily passed. Thousands
 of accused are believed to be awaiting disinterment, and preliminary
 estimated costs of cadaver trials run as high as $60.7 million dollars.
 Actual imprisonment of the executed cadavers are expected to cost
 taxpayers a further $378 million dollars per year. Jewish citizens,
 racial minorities, women, and homosexuals will be exempted from
 paying these taxes.
  Statements of approval of these long-overdue judicial and
 congressional measures have come in from state and federal
 officials. A symbolic motion of approval is expected from the
 US Senate later this week, as well as a statement of approval
 from the President. The Congress is also expected to set up
 oversight committees to ensure that the disinterments and
 trials proceed smoothly. Additional federal subsidized funding
 is likely to be authorized.

  The disinterments will begin Monday.

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